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I Speak With the Tongue of A Thousand White-Hot Lies!

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My short story, "Hauntings," will be appearing in the October issue of Penumbra eMag--the theme is "Paranormal Adventures."

I'm very excited! And if you want to check Penumbra out, their first year of issues is available for free (you can click on the banner at the top of the page I linked to above).

(also, "The Curator's Job" is still up over at GigaNotoSaurus for your reading and re-reading pleasure ...)

state of the Laura: weekend highlights
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Spent Saturday at Islands of Adventure to celebrate jkason's birthday.

I haven’t ever thought of myself as a Harry Potter geek, and yet I was all goofy as we walked into Hogsmeade, and did a little geeky dance of joy when we saw Hagrid’s cottage. (FANG WAS BARKING, OKAY? DO NOT JUDGE ME!)

My parents took the boyo to Magic Kingdom for the day, so I didn’t have to have Mom-guilt. I did miss him a lot, though—like, even more than I usually do when he’s not around. It hit the Lovely Husband, too; we spent a lot of time saying, "Oh, Z would love this," or "Z would hate that."

Said Z and I spent Sunday afternoon comparing stories and plotting out what sort of wands we want (even though the wand chooses the wizard and all that; I figure if the Sorting Hat takes requests, so can the good people at Ollivander’s) when we eventually go as a family to Universal.

My other trip highlights include the Spider-Man ride, which was awesome; the Jurassic Park ride (always go on rides with people who are willing to play along); and riding the Dudley Do-Right flume ride in the rain while swearing a lot and making bad 50 Shades of Grey jokes. Because we are very immature.

It was also lovely to stay up late talking about musicals and revenge tragedy and general gossip with Jason. That was probably my favorite thing. Dinner at Tu Tu Tango (art on the walls, dancers, artists painting, and so. much. food.) with three of my favorite people was a pretty close second.

Oh, and …

Z told me today that when he got off the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ride, he said a bad word. The ‘h’ word.

Then he paused, and said, “Well, actually it was the ‘b-h’ word.” Longer pause as he waited for the adults to figure it out. ”You know,” he said, “Ron says it.”

Wait. “‘Bloody hell’? You said ‘bloody hell’?”

"That’s the one, yeah!"

"The Curator's Job" is live!
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All right, y'all, my long short story, "The Curator's Job," is up at GigaNotoSaurus!

This is another story about Corwyn and Gwen Teachout, lady adventurers for hire ... except it's rather early in their career. [1] Here, I'll give you a teaser quote:

“I think if you want to see her stop playing and kill you all like it’s a job, you take me out there,” Corwyn said with a grunt, then brought her boot down, hard, into his foot.

The story is also available on the website for download in EPUB and MOBI formats, for your e-reading pleasure.

1 [back]This one takes place before "The Drowned Man" (a link to which you can find in my sidebar), and you don't need to read one to read the other (though you should totally read both!  And then go read the vignettes on the blog that are also conveniently linked on my sidebar!  It's Labor Day--have a marathon read of my work!)

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My husband apparently wants to read Gilgamesh. "Do we have a copy?” he asks.

Our house is basically made of books. It’s not big enough for all the books we have. I still have books from when I was five. I have books that I love, books that I think the kid might like to read eventually, I have books I’m keeping just because I hated them and ended up having to read them, like, two or three times, so at this point it’s like keeping the mummified head of my enemy on a pike.

Honestly? I don’t remember if we have a copy of Gilgamesh. I mean, the odds are pretty good, but who knows.

Anyway, now he’s critiquing the book shelves and complaining about our lack of organization. (Three or four years ago, we put everything together by series and author, but didn’t have time to alphabetize, so our ultimate organization is something like check where I have all the Eddas or I’d probably put that near the Neil Gaiman, go look on that shelf.)

(Did I mention the entire closet dedicated to comics boxes? Because that’s on him.)

Okay, just links to the WP blog
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Okay, links to the stuff I've posted on WordPress, because I am a lazy woman:

This is a link to a post full of links.

I got nostalgic over the last Harry Potter book.

Some random nattering.

My thoughts on re-reading The Art of the Novel.

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This is an odd week—it’s a lot of waiting to see stuff.  Mostly good stuff (like, my story goes live on Monday!  THERE WILL BE LINKS AND MUCH EXCITEMENT AND PROBABLY CAPSLOCK); possibly good and, worst case scenario, not worse stuff; and not-good stuff that doesn’t affect me or mine directly, but I am waiting to find out how it will indirectly affect me.

I hate waiting.  I hate the unknown.  I am not good with these things.  I would be the worst follower of Earthseed, like, ever.**

But I knew this going in, and so I’ve given myself a very light schedule of to-dos this week (it helps that I have four days off coming up, during which I can clean my damn house), and my mantra is be kind and drink water.

**Read Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents.  Prepare to cry.  And for outrage.  Because this is some seriously plausible near-future dystopian sci-fi, that probably deserves its own post.

My Good Things for Today
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1. The copy of Trying to Save Piggy Sneed that I ordered came in! (The joy of working at the library is processing my own Interlibrary loans.)

2. My mother-in-law called and left me a voice mail to let me know she’s ODing on Doctor Who, and it’s all my fault.

3.  I got enough sleep for the first time in what seems like forever, so I’m not a zombie tonight.

4.  The kiddo has to exercise every night as homework, so tonight we rode our bikes to the wooded lot in our neighborhood and went exploring.  It was fun—he told me about the weird creatures that live in there, and asked me about what I thought lived in there (I created an artists’ colony of monsters—they only want to make art and help people!  Well, I was amused by it).

5. Then we rode our bikes some more and he told me that of the deputy thing doesn’t work out, and if the Lego maker thing doesn’t work out, he thinks he wants to be a doctor.  A child psychiatrist.  Except when I actually defined the term, he said no, he wants to be a doctor who treats kids for, like, colds and stuff.

Yeah, he was confusing a child psychiatrist and a pediatrician.  There are times when I don’t really know what to do with this kid.  (Usually I hug him, but we were on bikes.)

(I’m actually going to be pretty surprised if he doesn’t become a writer of some kind, even if it’s just something he does for fun.)

6.  I’m now on the couch, alert (woo!), and the boy and Scott are doing bath time, which is amusing to listen to.

holy hell, 2nd grade
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I may be having a very small freakout about my kid starting second grade tomorrow.  He’s done so much growing just over this summer, and I like him so much …

I mean, based on the past seven years, he’ll continue this trend of getting more and more interesting and funny.  But it’s cliche for a reason, that whole my baby is starting second grade thing.  I have a clear sense-memory of the heft of him in my arms when he was an infant; he is now a lanky creature made entirely of freckles, elbows, and knees, but that knowledge of the particular way he fit into my arms seven years ago is still there; will, I hope, always be there, sunk into my bones.

But.  Here we go.

I remember second grade as a good grade for me.  I hope it’s a good one for him, too.

oh baby you, you got what i need, but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend ...
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My mother having taken the boyo for the week, we went out to the bar tonight with some friends. I don’t drink, so I was the driver, but nobody got super drunk (which was an improvement on the last time we went out), and we spent a large chunk of the evening in the corner playing Cards Against Humanity (which I’d never played but have been wanting to—I also cleaned the hell up at it because apparently I have a dark and withered soul. Or maybe it’s just that whole GenX bitterness thing). Also the bar was playing the Pixies and the Breeders and a bunch of other bands I know and actually like, so yay there.

Then we went to the bowling alley and played pool, which I absolutely suck at. And the music was godawful and really fucking loud—until they played Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend,” and really, it was 12:30 in the morning at the goddamned bowling alley, of course I sang along with it. So did Scott. Loudly and off-key. It’s, like, the rule for that song. It was fun.

(Later someone set up a bunch of Weird Al songs in a row on the juke box, and my night improved by 50%.)

On the whole, it was fun, but I think K. and I need to set up a coffee date or something (though I don’t really drink coffee, either) so we can actually talk and hear each other.

meanwhile, over at WP ...
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I got all fangirly over Orphan Black, and I am too lazy to do more than link to it. Yay!